Young, Gifted and Black

Now that I have your attention. Hello! It’s been awhile since I’ve done my last blog. I had a lot more time on my hands when we were on lockdown and surprisingly time to reflect on life in general. But now that we’re post lockdown 3 years now (COVID isn’t over and in my opinion never will be) things went in turbo speed and I found myself immersed in things that weren’t satisfying but that’s for another blog. Okay, so why did I start my first blog post 2 year hiatus with this title you may ask? Well, I was having this conversation with a good friend of mine about finding your tribe, ya know, where my people at? I know it has nothing to do with the title, but I’m going somewhere so bear with me.

We were discussing joining this club that we thought would be beneficial to our children and maybe we would meet more moms like us. Ya know find our tribe. We all know how important it is to find your tribe especially when you live away from extended family. So it just made me think about my upbringing. I had two educators for parents and because of the town we were in I stuck out like a sore thumb. For one, it was a military town, and two, there weren’t hardly any people that looked like me in my neighborhood. So what did I do? I acted like who I was was no big deal. I didn’t tell anyone where I lived or that my parents were educators. I tried my best to fit in, but the more aware I was the more awkward it became. On top of that, I was young, gifted and black. Now you may think, why does that matter? but when you’re stuck between two worlds, it’s so difficult to navigate. I don’t blame my parents because I understand now why they did what they did. They were preparing me for the realities of this world. They wanted me to be successful. Sometimes though I wish they had done things a little bit different. As I’ve gotten older I realize that fitting in certain crowds is way overrated. That God has so much in store for you and your gifts. Man! But I was young, gifted and black. By the time I reached college I found more of my tribe some to which we are still friends to this day 20 years later. I went back to my hometown after college and fell into that trap again until I got married some years later.

Now I’m away from my hometown 2 kids later and in a large metropolitan city thinking that things would be different due to the fact there is way more diversity. Mind you both of my children are young, gifted and black. Some things are a little bit different but some things are still the same, which brings me back full circle to the conversation I had with my friend. Is it possible for our kids to find their tribe or will they have to wait until college? Now some of you reading will say again why does it matter? People are people. True. I’ve taught my kids to treat everyone with kindness (if you noticed I didn’t say “don’t see color” that’s for another blog). BUT there’s nothing like having someone who can relate because truth be told there will be things my kids will have to deal with that some will not understand. Real talk. Already my children are one step ahead because they love who they are and don’t have any identity issues. I mean there is so much more out there now. Yes, I’m low key jealous, but very proud at the same time. I, on the other hand, didn’t always like my skin or my hair (that’s also for another blog).

To be young, gifted and black. Black excellence. Black girl magic. Black boy joy. My mother was a teenager in the early 70s and I know that’s why I know so much about that decade from music to blaxploitation movies. I’m Black and I’m Proud! The afro. Bellbottoms. Shaft. Dolemite. Funkadelic. The whole nine. My mother always talked about the phrase which I found out was a song by Nina Simone but also a play by Lorraine Hansberry. It’s more than just a phrase. It has power. The type of power that scares people. The type of power that would make lawmakers make laws to erase history. Erase progress. We sometimes underestimate that power and in essence we short change ourselves. We must overcome those strongholds and be who God meant for us to be!

There was a conversation that I had a few months ago that still resonates with me. The discussion was about being smart and black back in the day versus in the 80s/90s when I grew up. I gave my story about how I was gifted, but it came with consequences amongst my peers. As I had mentioned, I got to the point that I didn’t want to be recognized as gifted and I tried my best to fade into the background. (I will refrain from mentioning the orgranization) I was even denied a scholarship because they got tired of me always having the highest GPA amongst my peers. My husband’s aunt stated that she didn’t have those problems growing up. It was brought to her attention that it was because it was celebrated as a community. Years after integration the community was lost. Wow! The community was lost. So true and yet so sad. The mindset was so different back then. The urgency to be successful was prominent and it was universal because it was a must that we be our ancestors’ wildest dreams. Teachers were adamant about it so were churches. The community as a whole wanted you to succeed. Even the ones with the least amount of education pushed for better. But somehow, in some places, integration has caused the hope to be gone.

We all know what happened to the community, black people started moving on up like George and Weezy. We started to blend in with other communities and left “urban” communities behind. For some, they never looked back. For others the need to come back to make it better is still a reality. I have to admit. For a time I was tired of going back to the old community to celebrate my culture, to be with my people, but now that I have children it is so important that they know where they come from and appreciate the sacrifices made by their ancestors. There are some cultural nuances that they need to understand.

Now I will say that the plus side to our modern era is that we are finding communities through social media, still as a person whose generation caught some of the old school, and as teenagers and young adults who transitioned into an age where everything is digital, I still yearn for that one on one personal connection. I have met some wonderful people through social media. So all hope is not completely lost. And if that’s your thing, I believe it can be truly beneficial.

So is it possible to find your tribe? Find people who get you? Yes! For right now, my church is my tribe. I feel like that old school community that my husband’s aunt was talking about exists there(I didn’t think it did and it’s so refreshing). Black excellence is celebrated. You can be quirky, smart, think out of the box and be accepted. Hallelujah! It has given my kids the green light to be who God has created them to be and I truly believe it is a good balance to what they have to deal with day to day.

To be young, gifted and black is to understand that we are now entering a global society. If we start thinking like that instead of putting each other in a box, we’ll be so much better off. I pray my kids can continue to be accepted for who they are when it comes to their peers and not be seen as a threat. It looks hopeful. With so much more information from the internet in regards to our history, my hope is that this generation will be more enlightened and empowered to push beyond those limits that have been placed on us due to the effects of slavery. Everyday it seems more and more stories that were once hidden are now being told. Those barriers keep breaking. Glass ceilings shattered. We are our ancestors’ wildest dreams.

To be YOUNG, GIFTED and BLACK.