Do ya’ll remember that Kodak commercial from the 80s with Cyndi Lauper singing the song “True Colors”? Before your time? Okay, it was on the first Trolls soundtrack with Justin Timberlake. Once again, bear with me because I’m going somewhere. In the song, it says “you’re beautiful, like a rainbow”. We are. God in His infinite wisdom created us in all different shades. Those shades all serve a purpose. Yes, it does!
Now in my previous blog I mentioned the phrase “don’t see color”. I have to admit that phrase is like fingernails running down the chalkboard. That’s how much I despise it. Why? you may ask. Well, I hope you got time because I’m going to explain and then I’m going to explain what should be said in place of that phrase. As Tabitha Brown says, “Get into it!”
Don’t see color. That phrase started popping up some years ago (As fas as I can remember) and now it’s the anthem for “I’m not racist.” I haven’t researched it but I’m going to assume that it has to do with this crazy obsession of a soundbite from MLK’s I Have a Dream speech. By the way, I urge all of you to look into Dr. King. He was way more “radical” than he’s portrayed, at the end of his life he agreed with Malcolm X and at one point was the most hated man in America, I digress.
In some cases, depending on the person I get the intent. In other cases, it’s said out of ignorance. Seems harsh? Let me explain. As a person of color who has to deal with issues almost weekly related to my color it is an insult for anyone to say they don’t see it. Why? Because you’re basically saying that you’re not going to acknowledge the difference. You’re ignoring that with this color is a history of pain. A pain that we still have to deal with. Whew! Let me get off that soapbox. Case in point. My daughter was in this performance years ago. The coordinator wanted a particular hairstyle. Half up and half down. Definitely a “don’t see color” moment. I know you’re saying what’s the big deal? Well, first off it’s Houston and it’s very very humid. Our natural coils don’t handle half up and half down hairstyles. That only works if our hair is either braided OR straightened and even then it won’t stay. I definitely wasn’t going to damage my daughter’s hair like so many of us do trying to assimilate just so her hair could go back to the Motherland the minute she steps outside. Next question, well Afrisa why didn’t you braid her hair? I did but I definitely brought it to the coordinator’s attention to be cognizant of hair textures when it comes to hairstyles. Need another “don’t see color” moment? I told y’all I got time.
I don’t know how many times I get in these meetings, either organizational or education related and whenever we plan events people, their color and their culture, get overlooked. No acknowledgment at all. It’s frustrating. It’s frustrating because no matter how diverse a space is, people will get in their bubbles and refuse to learn about each other. Ugh! Then when it’s brought up the lack of diversity in a setting, you get “well we’re afraid that all groups won’t be represented. We don’t want to offend anyone.” What?!?! Now you’re concerned about offending someone? Your answer is to not do anything at all? But hey, you don’t see color right!
Seriously, I really could go on and on. Sad but true. I’ve experienced so much in my life beginning at college all the way through my professional career being a classroom teacher. One thing I realize is you have two groups of people (really more but just to keep it simple I’ll say two). The ones who acknowledge there’s a problem and the those who refuse to see there’s a problem. Okay, three. The ones who know there’s a problem but still want to give others the benefit of the doubt. Guess which group is the most detrimental to our society?
I have a mom friend whom over the years since I’ve been here we’ve gotten to be close. I don’t know about you but I always keep my guard up until I’ve read a person. Well, her hubby one day made mention of my license plate having pink and green on it. I immediately let my guard down. He talked about how he did security for Kamala Harris when she spoke at our Boule some years ago. See now for me, you get major cool points. If you know, you know. Now if you need me to break it down, I will. Most people who aren’t African American are not aware of historically black sororities/fraternities. I’ve worn my para lots of times in certain spaces. Crickets. It means nothing. I’ve had a few ask over the years but mainly crickets. So yes for him to acknowledge was indeed a big deal. Moving on. One day at the pool, she asked me, “What can I do to ensure my sons make this world better because I’ve taught them not to see color”….Record scratch!!!!! In this case I get her intent, and I was willing to school her on that phrase and I did. She appreciated it and told me to always be honest with her. Believe me I am and will be. Let me tell you when someone outside of the community wants to get you. Like truly get you! Man! That’s where the real healing begins. You can truly be yourself. No code switching. Show your true colors.
Look if you want to move forward, you’ve got to call a spade a spade. Be like my friend. Pay attention to others and their culture! Wake up on a Sunday and go to a black Baptist Church, a gathering of other cultures, Houston is full of it! No excuses! Ask questions! Allow people to be who they are! Learn their language. We can’t keep sweeping this under the rug. And not seeing color ain’t how you do it! Yes, I said “ain’t”! See people for who they are. See their true colors.
BlackTeachingMama2 